Juggling life, kids & business as a single parent - with Christine Bokodi
a beautiful Port STephens mum who is raising 3 little as a single parent, running 2 businesses (Albyblox & Wanderwren) & looking after herself. She has A quick wit, a thirst for life & wisdom beyond her years… let’s get to know her some more!
How old were you when you found out you were first pregnant and what were some of the things that ran through your mind?
I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant with my first. It was super hard to comprehend because I had never even thought about children or how many I wanted or even what age I wanted them. None of the goals I had for myself even considered babies, but I knew instantly that I wanted to protect and love the little life that was growing inside me. I was shit scared, but I had my families support from the start.
now you have 3 sweet, spirited & happy little men, what a blessing! What have you learnt about yourself through your 3 journeys through pregnancy & birth?
Every time I have been upset and crying on my mums shoulder (usually when I tell her I’m pregnant haha) she says “it will all work out..” I never understood but I’ve learnt how true that is. No matter what the situation, what ever hurdles we have to over come, if it’s life, loss or love.. we deal with what’s is thrown at us and we make the best of it. I’ve learnt how resilient I can be when it comes to my little family.
Have you ever felt judged for doing it on your own?
If I was judged I wouldn’t have noticed.. I’m pretty good at not giving a second thought to what people think!
I know you value taking time to yourself, it’s something I’m working on. Teach me your ways! How do you find free time and utilise it once you get it?
The secret for me was giving up control. I didn’t realise my anxiety was holding me back in some pretty big ways and I had become a massive control freak.
Once I went to my GP and sorted that out I was so free to let go of the reigns and leave my kids with their dad for a weekend or a baby sitter for the night and enjoy me time without the guilt that I should be with them 24/7. I learnt the difference between a little me time, ie a bath at night and really looking after myself so I could look after my family. It is so important to ask for help!
What are 3 fun facts that some of us might not know about life as a single parent?
When you’re single you get the entire wardrobe to yourself and don’t have to share it.
When you’re a single Mum It’s super easy to pick a name for your baby when you’re pregnant because if you love a name no one disagrees with you.
I quite like being on my own because I only have to clean up after myself and my children, not an extra man child too!
Can you finish with any words of wisdom or advice for women beginning their journey as a single parent?
It’s hard giving advice, even though I’ve been there and can relate to anyone starting out as a single parent. It’s a tough path to walk and there’s not much anyone can say because, well hindsight... a lot has to be learnt on your own but the biggest thing is to surround yourself with like minded and supportive people! It’s a horrible feeling to be surrounded by people and feel like not one of them can understand what you’re going through. And always, always ask for help or see your GP if you feel like you’re not ok!